To be a member of the All Crooked Hat Team the brim of one’s hat must be cocked to either the left or right side of a player’s head (definitely NOT centered on their head).  Also the brim must be pretty flat, although there are some exceptions to this rule.  If the brim is curved in anyway there must be a huge degree of hat cocking to the side to still make the roster. 

And now the starting lineup for your All Crooked Hat Team…

Starting Lineup:

Starting Pitcher: CC Sabathia – I don’t even know how this guy can see when he pitches.  His hat is so low and crooked he should be one of the worst pitchers in the league based on not being able to see the damn strike zone.  Yet he has proven seeing doesn’t matter as long as you have the talent.

Catcher: No one thus far.  Can anyone think of anybody?

First Base: Prince Fielder – The guys brim is basically flat and his hat is slightly to the side.  Not only that, he must wear a size 9 fitted with a head that big.

Second Base:  Brandon Phillips – His hat is basically pointing up to the sky during the game.  Virtually any play he needs to run backwards for that hat is falling off.  He makes the play 92% of the time and the hat falling off just adds bonus points.

Third Base: Jose Reyes – As stated before, I couldn’t find a 3B with a crooked hat.  Since Reyes wasn’t far behind in the SS voting I awarded him the starting spot at 3B bringing range and speed to the position.

Shortstop: Hanley Ramirez – Best power hitting shortstop in the league also owns the best crooked hat for a SS.  Also top honors in my fantasy baseball draft.  Ramirez’s direct competition was Jose Reyes but due to the fact there were no crooked hat third basemen, Reyes was shifted over.

Left Field: Manny Ramirez – There were some great players at the LF position but Manny can’t even put his hat on straight if he wanted to with that ridiculous mop on his head that he calls “hair”.  Manny’s hat probably doesn’t touch any part of his head; it just hovers on top of the do-rag.

Center Field: Torii Hunter – Easily the best defensive CF in the Majors in the past decade and one of the best all time defensively at his position.  You KNOW Torri Hunter is the man just by looking at his crooked hat.  If you have seen him in interviews he talks the talk, walks the walk and rocks the crooked hat.

Right Field: Elijah Dukes – This guy isn’t the best of choices as far as baseball ability goes, but the potential is there and Dukes represents what a crooked hat wearer should represent; a tough guy.  Not only does he look tough but I would be legit scared if I saw Dukes walking around the streets.  Dukes was in legal trouble too for apparent abuse; I don’t even want to go there.

Designated Hitter: Alfonso Soriano – Being that he is my favorite player and has a slightly crooked hat, I had to put him on the list somewhere.  There really is no excuse for Soriano’s crooked hat.  His brim is perfectly rounded off like a normal person would wear their hat, yet he still rocks it to the left side a little bit.

Relief Pitcher: Fernando Rodney – Rodney has been rockin’ the crooked hat for as long as I can remember and is the reason why I decided to make this list about 3 years ago but didn’t get around to it until now.  Fernando wears his hat at about a 45 degree angle, unreal!  Rodney is the only guy who can pull this off on a yearly basis.

Bench:

Cameron Maybin
James Loney
Juan Pierre
Matt Kemp
Michael Bourne
Mike Cameron

Bullpen:

Ian Snell
Todd Wellemeyer

Least likely to rock a crooked hat that made the list:  Juan Pierre - Look at this guy, does he really deserve to wear a crooked hat in ’09.  Maybe in ’04 he could get away with that, but not today.  COME ON!

Who I thought would have made the list:  Ryan Howard - This guy just gives off that “crooked hat vibe”.  How could he not wear a crooked hat?  For someone who hits as many HRs as he does he should start to consider cocking that hat to the side a little especially after winning the World Series in ’08.  Even better, he should just wear his hat backwards a la Ken Griffey Jr. in every commercial he has ever made.  I know I would, but that’s coming from someone who has 7 career HRs.

Any Catcher – For the life of me I couldn’t find a catcher confident enough to tilt the hat just a LITTLE bit.  Someone like Joe Mauer who has already won two batting titles has the right to wear the hat crooked at any given time in his career.

Albert Pujols – He is the best player in the Majors, he can definitely do what he wants and get away with it.  But Pujols seems to be leaning more towards being an MVP rather than a G (gangster).

Let me know who would make your crooked hat team!  Leave your name and email to leave a comment!